she/her pronouns

At the groceries store

calakazam:

toyota:

Me: can u give me x²+4y+ of tomatoes & 2(x²+8xy^3) of potatoes please

Seller: I dont understand

Me: well i dont give a fuck i didnt study in vain

those are polynomials you asked for a neverending curve of tomatoes

hellaoptile:

you know how when you go to a concert or show of some sort and the person on stage is like “HOW’S EVERYONE DOING TONIGHT?!?!?!?!” and the audience cheers back? why? you’re not answering the question, you’re just yelling. imagine if we did that in daily conversation. “hey jeff, how are ya?” and jeff just starts screaming and clapping in your face

mothlikestars:

I’ve just cried laughing at the comments on a Jamie Oliver recipe, there was a typo on the website and everyone put 13 lemons into a pasta sauce and didn’t even question it. Imagine eating 13 lemons, the recipe was for 4 people, imagine having that much trust in Jamie Oliver.

lydiduh:

alfronaut:

this was the most surreal experience of my life this girl with a Tiny Pony walked past me and didn’t acknowledge me at all and this like heavenly glow was following the Tiny Pony and a bee landed on my face??? i think i had a spiritual experience.

I think I’ve read enough Greek mythology to tell you that you may be pregnant now

lydiduh:

alfronaut:

this was the most surreal experience of my life this girl with a Tiny Pony walked past me and didn’t acknowledge me at all and this like heavenly glow was following the Tiny Pony and a bee landed on my face??? i think i had a spiritual experience.

I think I’ve read enough Greek mythology to tell you that you may be pregnant now

sashaforthewin:

unclewhisky:

clannyphantom:

if ur hair covers ur boobs u have mermaid hair and u are a mermaid i dont make the rules

As a man with a hairy chest, I was very, very confused by this post for about ten seconds.

You are a mermaid, sir

fudgeflies:

This is pretty much how I sum up Snape apologists.

fudgeflies:

This is pretty much how I sum up Snape apologists.

streetsnapfashion:

src:@
irl-hoka:

did-you-kno:

Source 

we know the numberswe can begin the process

irl-hoka:

did-you-kno:

Source 

we know the numbers
we can begin the process

if you ever want to hear the neon genesis evangelion theme at any time just call 309-889-0497

fiendswithbenefits:

zchr:

i just set it up and it seems to be working

if you’re at the club and someone asks for your number just give them this

smalldonghaver:

faygo-fuckyourself:

pSA DONT FUCK WITH OUIJA BOARDS

DONT PLAY ONE MAN HIDE AND SEEK

DONT PLAY SHADOW MAN

DONT FUCK WITH ANYTHING THAT INVITES SPIRITS INTO YOUR HOME

lol sike catch me playing 2k14 with George Washington and Cleopatra while u afraid to touch some wood

dogs99999:

My best friend is a middle school teacher and she just told us that she farts on students that she doesn’t like. She like pretends to circle around the class while they do classwork and just stops at certain students and farts in their personal space. It was recommended to her by a fellow teacher. Just want you guys to be careful out there.. Whether you’re in high school or college just…. Just be careful. Especially in the public school system

Anonymous asked:
Your a faggot kill ur elf

pimptier:

the fuck did my elf do